Having MS is difficult sometimes. It stops you doing things that you used to be able to do with such ease and without a second thought. Like jumping on your bike, or running for the bus. Sometimes fatigue dictates your day and this means you need to rest often. The food you eat is so important that breaking your diet is just not worth it and makes eating out a bit of a nightmarere. You need to exercise regularly without exception and in a way that doesn’t allow your body to over-heat. All of this becomes easy with discipline.
I have gradually come to realise that having MS also means you need a tight control over your emotions. This has mostly been possible in my case, especially since reading Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth which has taught me to understand the source of most hurtful emotion and thus stop them in their tracks enough to not let them affect me anymore. I am convinced that my inability to deal with such emotions prior to reading this book, is actually one of the reasons for my MS. In the past two years, I discovered that when somebody close to me, or to a loved one, died; the sadness I felt took over and I was overcome with symptoms. This has so far happened three times, and I know I need to protect myself from the serious damage an emotion such as sadness can do, but when this has happened I have been incapable of taking control, at least not before allowing it to do some harm first.
It is not just painful emotions that need to be kept at bay, however. I began to realise this the day before one of my best friend’s hen night. I was frantically planning to make it all perfect for her. A surge of over-excitement came over me only to be followed quickly by all-over shaking. I had been carrying out a task perfectly fine one minute and then been injected with an inability to do anything the next. I had to rest straight away, there was nothing else I could do, physically or mentally.
Since then I have slowly begun to understand that excitement – or any emotion that you let yourself get carried away with, come to think of it, can be a really bad thing. I have been reflecting upon the importance of what I learnt from Eckhart Tolle’s book and encourage anyone with problems controlling any type of emotion, to read it; it is a revelation. Even if you don’t have MS, it will teach you of a healthier way of seeing the world.