Every year it’s the same. It’s getting boring now. You do too much – just one more thing – just one more and then I’ll rest – just this and then day off – and, before you know it, you can’t do anything anymore, for the next two or even three months. Sound familiar? You go to a wedding, to your boyfriend’s gig, to a baby shower. You’re doing loads, you feel like you again. Nothing crazy, no out-til-6am like the good old days; but maybe until midnight (woohooo) twice in a row (uh-oh). Two places to go in a day – MS Action (home for lunch) then to my sister’s house. Exhausting. Seriously. That’s how it is. I’m feeling tired just thinking about it, (right n0w it’s 8.30 and I’m ready for bed, teeth are clean and at 9 I will be in bed, I assure you. (I will probably finish this post tomorrow.)
As I was saying, you go to a wedding, do the shopping, work on your project. Go to a funeral. For me, grief is definitely the straw that breaks the camel’s back (fav expression of a friend I used to have). How can I describe it? Sadness is heavy. It is a load everyone struggles with. It is something you let yourself give into, in the moment, you stay in it a while longer than your body is telling you you can.
I have been thinking about this relapse problem. I need to learn my lesson, and slow down – especially in winter, when my body is weaker. I need to break the chain, and I am determined not to relapse next year. I will lay low and sit this one out as I must, but next winter I will take it easy until the weather gets warmer, and hopefully, I won’t relapse.